With all of our focus on how to make your wedding special, we thought it was time to highlight some ways to make your marriage awesome, too. Introducing “Snapshot of a Marriage,” a new series from contributor Emily Westbrooks, who interviews couples on some of their secrets for a strong and successful marriage.
Andy and Betsey met in high school, when he was seventeen and she was only fourteen – Andy remembers that day: “The first time I saw her, I fell in love.” (Andy says he also remembers the day his high school age kids worked out the age of their parents when they met. Their reaction? “That’s gross!”)
Despite such a romantic start, they learned a few hard lessons early in their marriage. “For the first ten years of our marriage, we fought the same fight over and over again,” Andy said. “When something happened, every fight we’d ever been in became part of the conversation. You can’t resolve things that way.”
Betsey agreed, and explained that she found it a little harder to let things go. “If I ended up wrong, that was hard for me. That took a long time to get over.” The couple slowly came up with a system where they would both try to get to the root of an argument in order to move forward. Now, Andy says, “We don’t rehash old battles anymore.”
Andy says people often remark to him, “You sure talk about your wife a lot.” But he isn’t bashful at all. As he explains, “For twenty-seven years, I have been in dogged pursuit of her affection.” That pursuit appears to be working. Betsey looked at Andy and said simply, “I feel adored and worshipped.”
Now Andy and Betsey are passing along their advice to their own kids. When their oldest son was married last spring, they gave him one key piece of advice: “Tell each other often that you love each other.”