Secular Ceremony with Full Officiant Address




– Who gives this bride? (Kyle hugs dad, etc.)

– Please be seated.



– Welcome friends and family.

– We have all come together today to celebrate the marriage of Kyle Garret Hency and Meagan Mari Herfkens, in a place close to their hearts.

– They are touched and honored you could be here to share this day with them and want to thank you for making the journey, some traveling thousands of miles, others enduring whole minutes without cell service or wi-fi. But truthfully, WE are the lucky ones.
Lucky to be here to support you, and to celebrate your commitment to each other with the knowledge that we represent only a small fraction of the incredible friends and family who hold you dear.

– As those closest to this amazing couple, we have all shared the rare pleasure of bearing witness to their growing love for and dedication to one another, and the complementary set of strengths which makes them a perfect match.

– Over the last few months, I asked those closest to these two to share their fondest memories of them, both as individuals and as a couple, and though the responses spanned more than 20 years, four countries, and three generations, each story reflected the same core qualities that draw us to Kyle and Meagan: Their unfailing commitment to their families and friends; their unfiltered love for one another; and their uncompromising dedication to having one hell-of-a good time wherever life takes them.

– Now that we’re all warmed up, Kyle’s cousin Billy will share an Irish Blessing.





– First, I just have to say how humbled, honored, and thrilled I am to be standing up here with Kyle and Meagan. Humbled to be chosen from the ranks of cherished and inspiring family and friends with whom you’ve shared your lives, honored to share such a seminal moment in your relationship, and thrilled because I love you both with everything I have and it’s about damned time we got around to this.

– But before we get to you two, I’d like to take a moment ask those married couples here today to please turn to your partner, look into their eyes, and reflect both on your love and the importance of this institution in your life. (Pause for reflection.) Marriage is an incredible commitment, and maintaining that relationship can at times be almost as much work as it is joy. Can those couples here married more than 20 years please stand and let your hard work and dedication be recognized? Incredible. And those of you who have been together more than 30-years, please stay standing. Kyle and Meagan, look around… let these couples be your role models, your resources, and your inspiration.

– Please be seated.

– Finally, and because I don’t want to leave anyone out, if you’re not here with someone special, please stand. (Come on, get up, I’m standing.) Good. Now I’ll ask each of you to take a look around… make a mental note… Great. Feel free to have a toast to me when it’s two of you up here in a few years!

– Please be seated.

– Kyle and Megs: I’m sure you noticed your parents were among all those just standing, together representing over 60 years of collective experience in what it means to commit to another person. Given that, I asked them to pass along some of that wisdom to you.
And to avoid too many tears, Garret, Meagan’s twin brother, will share their thoughts with you now:



– Message to the Bride and Groom

– Thanks Garret, I think you’ve even got time for a quick ten-miler before the vows.



– Alright, let’s get to it. I’ve known Megs since before I even knew I knew anyone.
As we grew up together, with family trips, Hawaiian surfing lessons, and surviving our parents publicly displaying photos of us as infants sharing a bath (look at Kyle: Sorry man), I can’t tell you how amazing it was to see Meagan blossom at Stanford, and watch her develop from a shy teenager to the confident, witty, fun, driven, and beautiful woman that stands here today. And it was through Meagan that I forged a lifelong and unrivaled friendship with Kyle. And while I didn’t then, nor will I ever, share his affinity for the Counting Crows, we did find some common ground over rafting trips, flip-cup tournaments, Tahoe ski cabins, costume parties, and surviving adventures with the force-of-nature that is Meagan’s group of friends.

– Like many here today, I can say I was there for their first sparks of friendship between episodes of The OC in a college dorm, there to hear about that first trip to Cabo, to help with the move to San Francisco, for dinners at their first home on Beach Street, and of course for Kyle’s cornering of the proper-length men’s-shorts market.

– And now here we are today, to witness them commit their lives to each other. (Pause)
Having relatively little personal experience in what that actually takes, I again reached out to some of those other wiser couples here today, and while I got a range of useful advice and tips to pass on (some less family-friendly than others), the one that stuck with me the most was that: Anyone can fall in love, but the secret to an enduring relationship is falling in love over and over again. And, Kyle and Megs, while I’d love to tell you I discovered this incredible secret to happiness, and then take credit for your next fifty years of bliss, looking back at your relationship, I realized that you two have known this the whole time.

– Over the last few months I had the pleasure of sitting down with Meagan and Kyle and reliving some of their best and worst moments since they started dating at age eighteen. These meetings inevitably left me inspired (not to mention inebriated), and I’d like to share with each of you the thoughts you both shared with me.

To Meagan: Meagan, I asked Kyle: “What made him first fall in love with you?”

– Without hesitation he told me that it was your commitment to the people you love. “Relationships,” he said, “ebb and flow. Careers ebb and flow, and the key is finding someone who can ride out the swells, recognize when you need to change course, and be willing to take a wave and help you surf the risks. And that’s just who Meagan is. Not just with me, but with everyone she cares about.” (Kyle is quite fond of nautical metaphors.)

– I asked Kyle what he loves most about you: He loves that you keep him centered, and on the rails. “But, “ he said, “I don’t mean to say that she limits me or keeps me from pushing myself in any way, but more that I know she will be there to catch me when I do. We’ve grown apart in some ways, and closer together in others, but in these last few years I realized that we’ve really grown into one person: We want exactly the same things at the same time, even if some of those things mean taking risks. And it’s been hard to get to that place, don’t get me wrong, but now, it’s amazing.

– I asked Kyle what the hardest thing has been: He told me it was when he started banking:
“I was tough to be around,” he said, “I was making decisions based on my own future, and actually made it a point to do so, but Megs stood by me and made it work. I was miserable at my job and would come home from work angry and tired.  But then I’d walk in the door and get to hang out with this amazing person who, without any prompting, just kept everything else in my life going. Thinking back, I can’t think of a time when I was with Megs and I wasn’t happy. Of course, early on, we weren’t always certain how things would work out, but I was always happy.

To Kyle:  Kyle, I asked Meagan about her first impression of you:  Like a true Midwestern gentleman, your first move was to ask Meagan out to a concert. But, like a true eighteen-year old male without a car, you might have also done it for the ride. Meagan told me the first thing she remembers about you was that “he had orange hair from soccer initiation, which I hated, and I wasn’t really wild about the Counting Crows either. We didn’t really even know each other yet, but he seemed like fun so I said yes anyway. And then he asked if we could take my car…” Kyle saw two things in Meagan that night: great beauty, and great logistics. So on first impression he didn’t initially come through as the most thoughtful person in the world. But luckily Kyle is, in fact, a pretty good time, and Meagan stuck around long enough to get to know him a little better.

– Which I found out when I asked her when she first fell in love with you:  She told me it was after you’d been dating a few months. She said “Kyle took me to visit his family over Christmas. I was blown away by what an amazing brother and son he was, and how he was just overflowing with love and respect for his family who he so genuinely loved being around.” In St. Louis, Meagan saw that your parents and your brother were your best friends, and at Stanford she saw that your best friends were your family. You make no distinction in how you care for and support the people you love and she loves that about you.

– I asked Meagan what the hardest thing has been:  Like you Kyle, Meagan had some difficulty after graduating and adjusting to real life. “Kyle was working all the time and we didn’t know if we would break up, but at the same time there was never a reason to not be with each other. We we’re always able to work together, talk things out, and always got along so easily. Finally, we just decided that instead of having our own priorities and working towards our own goals, that we would to work towards our life together. That being together was the priority. And after that, things got easier. There was never any rush, we just knew we would end up together. Since then our response to every obstacle has just been, ‘How do we handle this?’

– And finally, I asked Meagan about as time she fell in love with you all over again: “Watching him create and run his own business, seeing how passionate and excited he gets, how responsible he is with his employees, his drive, and the way he’s always surging. He’s just so happy, and that makes me happy.”

– The two people who stand before you are not the same unsure teenagers who met in a college dorm room, but a confident, capable couple who fell in love when you were eighteen, and again when you left college, and again when you made a home together, and again and again every year that’s passed.

– Meagan: you have fallen in love with an intelligent, driven, gregarious, and hilarious man and generous friend.

– Kyle: you have fallen in love with an ambitious, hardworking, beautiful, tolerant, and adventurous woman, and family-loving daughter.



But before we make this thing official, it is crucial that we recognize that marriage is not just a joining of two individual hearts, but also of two families.

– Would the parents of the couple please stand.

– Bob and Tricia: Do you vow to accept Kyle into your family and love him as your own? (We do.)

– Gary and Deb: Do you vow to accept Megs into your family and love her as your own? (We do.)

– The love and example of those of you here today guided Kyle and Megs to this moment, but they will need your guidance and support for the rest of their lives.

– And the rest of you! Do you, their family and friends, promise from this day forward to encourage them, to love them, to give them your guidance, and to support them in being steadfast in the promises that they will make today? (We do!!)

To Kyle and Megs: Surrounded by those you love and with a life-long commitment of their support, I ask you to step forward and take one another’s hands.

– To congregation: Please be seated.



– The Bride and Groom have prepared their own Vows.

– Megs, please begin. (Meagan Vows)

– (Kyle Vows)

– May I please have the rings.

– Please, repeat after me:

I, Kyle, take you, Meagan to be my wife,
to have and to hold, from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.
I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

I, Meagan, take you, Kyle to be my husband,
to have and to hold, from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.
I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.



– Please raise your glasses for a toast.

– May your lives together be passionate, adventurous and fun. The time has come for you to go forth and explore it together, and be prepared to fall in love over and over again with your best friend.



Kyle and Megs, after ten years of riding out the swells, and now that you have exchanged these beautiful rings as a symbol of your love and commitment, it is with great joy and happiness that I can proclaim:

By the power vested in me by the Great State of California as an officially appointed Deputy of Placer County, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife.



Kyle, please Kiss your bride.
(hooting and hollering ensues)



Family and friends it is my great honor to present to you:

Kyle and Meagan Hency

(Walk out: guitar wailing/awesome song playing)


Sara & Rocky Photography | Snippet & Ink


Photo by Sara & Rocky Photography.

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