weddings, and the things you can’t see

Friends, you have been so generous to let me take all this time to share our wedding with you – thank you! It was so fun for me to revisit such a special day, and I hope that any of you in the midst of wedding planning will be able to take something from me blogging about my experience. I wanted to take one last post to share some of the things that aren’t necessarily obvious or visible in photos, but that are as much part of a wedding as all the things you do see.

It’s easy for blogs and magazines to show you the design and the details, but not so easy to convey how things tasted, or how the music sounded, or if everything went smoothly. I hope by sharing our menu I’ve given you a little idea of how delicious all of the food at our wedding was, and by seeing photos of everyone dancing you can see how awesome the band was. But that’s only part of the day – so many other things contributed to what it was…

…starting with our planners, Laurie Arons and Jenna Lam, who not only helped with our wedding design and details, but who also handled vendor communication and coordination, made sure everyone was where they needed to be and that everything happened on time, and troubleshot anything that went wrong (Jenna did such an amazing job the day-of, that Ryan and I were totally unaware of any issues that might have come up with vendors or timing, etc.). I know that a wedding planner doesn’t fit into every wedding budget, but for us, having them be part of our day ensured that everything went smoothly and allowed Ryan and me to be guests at our own wedding.

In a city with limited parking, and with so many out-of-town guests, the shuttles and valets were two of the keys to making our guests comfortable – and they’re really some of the unsung heroes of a wedding. Bauer’s shuttles brought guests from their hotels, to the church, to the reception, then made trips back to the hotels all evening. And for guests who drove to the ceremony, Soiree Valet saved them the trouble of finding parking or having to walk in the rain. (Soiree’s owner even drove a guest’s car to the reception when the guest decided to hop on the shuttle!) I think when your guests feel taken care of, they’re bound to have a good time.

One thing you hear all the time in the wedding world is the word perfect – I know I use it here on Snippet & Ink, and it’s all over wedding blogs and magazines. And when you’re looking at pretty pictures, and reading about the parts of a wedding that someone decides are worth sharing, it’s easy to think that perfect is a reasonable expectation for your wedding day. To me, our wedding day was as close to perfect as you can get, thanks to our incredible vendors, planners, friends and family, and the decision that Ryan and I made to be fully present at our wedding. But the truth is, when you think of perfection as everything looking and happening exactly as you have it in your mind, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Because even if things are as perfect as can be, even if you’re the most organized bride and have the most incredible vendors, things never happen just the way you imagine: flights get cancelled, it pours rain, cakes get stuck in traffic, babies cry during the ceremony, cousins give embarrassing toasts. Or maybe you just feel all around different than you thought you would feel.

And the only thing you can do about any of this, is to let go. Go into your wedding day as free of expectations as possible, and let yourself experience each moment for what it is. My older sister called me about a month or so after we had set a wedding date, and told me that she was pregnant with her third baby, and that he was due on our wedding day. In a perfect world, I’d get a healthy nephew and have my sister in attendance, but unfortunately that was an impossibility. I knew that she was going to miss my wedding day, and it broke my heart. But in some ways, it was a gift – it forced me to let go of the Perfection Myth. When your would-be Matron of Honor can’t come to your wedding, the color of your ushers’ ties seems totally irrelevant. So does having a runny nose at your own ceremony (I had to grab Ryan’s pocket square in the middle of the blessing and blow my nose – not solemn or romantic!), or getting cake on your dress.

The flip side of this, of doing away with expectations, is that you open yourself up to feelings and moments that you never could have imagined. Things like: the feeling of total love and support as I stepped into the church with my parents on either side of me; making eye contact with my groom through the window as he smoked a cigar outside; our friends surrounding us in a giant hug circle while singing “Stand By Me” a capella after the band packed up; jumping out of our getaway taxi at a stop light to hug my cousin who was in the car right behind us; the utter joy that I felt all day long. MARRYING MY BEST FRIEND.

And the most awesome part of all? The end of our wedding was just the beginning of our life together – how wonderful is that?!


Photos by Magnolia Photo Booth Co.


Bauer’s Transportation, Laurie Arons Special Events, Magnolia Photo Booth, and Soiree Valet are sponsors of Snippet & Ink.


  • Oh Kathryn, you said it all in such a beautiful way.

    Congratulations again you made a beautiful bride and I wish you a beautiful life together

  • thank you so much for this post. one of the most encouraging things to hear as my wedding approaches.

  • great post. And for someone who will soon be marrying, very helpful. I hope I am present that day, it’s my biggest ‘fear’. But there’s not much I can do but tell myself to relax and just ‘be there’…ah… we’ll see. Your wedding looks so nice and relaxed that it just makes it perfect. ;)

  • NO! say it isn’t so…your last wedding day insight from your own experience! you have made preparing and planning so much easier. thank you for that. i look forward to your other wise and beautiful posts. thank you! and congrats again on your nuptials.

  • Yes, very wonderful. :) I love your photos in the photo booth especially yours and your husband. How does it sound? Calling your groom as your husband already? :D

  • So many times, I hear brides obsessing over magazine or blog perfection and how they want their wedding to be in that category, but the truth is, that the most important part of a wedding are the intangibles. Thank you for sharing your beautiful, heartfelt wedding.

  • Oh that sounds like such a dream day and you look like such a fun couple. Congratulations!

  • redfrizzz says:

    I gotta say: I rarely, if ever tear up at wedding posts. But I’ve teared up all week reading your re-caps, and especially at this post. I love the photo booth photo of you macking on your husband, and I so appreciate your sharing all this from your personal experience and making it clear that even though we all revel in the beautiful potential of detailed wedding planning, all that matters are the people who stand by you that day.
    many sincere thanks.

  • I have enjoyed all of the wedding posts–getting a down-to-the-details behind the scenes look at this lovingly planned and beautifully executed weddig has been so inspirational! Thank you for making me that much more excited about my own day coming up!

    Best wishes for you and the husband…

  • thanks so much for sharing this… it’s always a nice reminder… you can have the most “perfect” indie wedding in the world, but what really matters is the friends and family you spend it with. I especially love the part about your guests feel taken care of – with the valets and what not. beautiful post, and thank you again for sharing this and your other wedding details!

  • molly says:

    this was so beautifully written. thank you for sharing! truly inspiring!

  • MeitsMo says:

    Every time you have an incredible wedding insight (which lets be real is all the time) it always seems to resonate with me outside of the wedding as well. I so appreciate you sharing these ridiculously adorable wedding photos (omg…the gentleman and the blonde woman- they look like such FUN and AWESOME peeps! The little boy jumping- museum worthy, the crowd of friends and family- you can feel joy, and as always you and Ryan look like silver screen movie stars), and I keep reflecting on this line “let go of the Perfection Myth”. YES. Live in the moment- HECK YES! Roberto and I are going to repeat this to each other before our wedding! Such amazing advice, thank you!!!

  • MeitsMo says:

    Ps I’m with Lara- say it isn’t so that this is your last post- these posts have been so wonderful, thank you so much for sharing!

  • KC says:

    The kid in the photobooth reminds me how great it is to include something fun for kids for every big event. How much fun is he having? Love the pics and thanks for sharing your experience. May your marriage be as beautiful as your wedding.

  • What a beautiful, thoughtful post. I especially love the advice about letting go of ideas of perfection, because that doesn’t exist and there are so many more important things to focus on. Thanks so much for sharing so many details of your day with all of us.

  • I completely agree with all the lovely comments above. It has been OUR privilege and joy to join you in your journey through your wedding preparations all the way to the perfect ceremony (and I use “perfect” here as you so beautifully qualified it in this post). Truly inspiring! Wishing you every blessing in your life together!

  • those photobooth pictures look like so much fun! You did a great job describing the details from your wedding day. I can’t wait to have that feeling of excitment and the feeling of ‘I just married my best friend!’ along with starting our new lives together. xo

  • This was the perfect capstone to all the beautiful things you’ve shared about your wedding, Kathryn – thank you! It has been so nice to read about YOUR wedding after all this time reading your blog, and comforting to know that even your wedding day wasn’t as perfect as sometimes photos can make things appear. Thank you for this!

  • Hi Kathryn. I just wanted to say I have thoroughly enjoyed your wedding photos. Your dress was amazing and so flattering. And the details! Wow. Vintage, yet modern and stylish at the same time. And it all looked so effortless…like the stars aligned just right for your day. I am not a wedding guru, such as yourself, so I apologize if I sound cliche. :) I just thought, wow, what a COOL wedding! If I could do it all over again…it would definitely be something like this.

  • Thanks for sharing Kathryn! You know I’m guilty of using the ‘perfect’ terminology. In the end, like you said it’s not about the groomsmen having the perfect color tie, but about the life you’re starting as man and wife and all the love that is shared. It’s truly about marrying your best friend. If only brides could just let go of striving for perfection, they’d be happier. Ha ha, coming from the girl who has a blog called the Perfect Palette! Alas, it’s still fun to look at pretty pictures and dream. But unfortunately, like you said, things will ultimately happen that are not expected. And even if things look beautiful and ‘perfect’, things are bound to happen at a wedding that are unexpected and less than ideal. They happened for me, for sure. But in the end, you simply let go of the bad and hold on to the good.

  • I cannot even explain how wonderful it is to read such a great post. Thank you for sharing such a special moment with you.
    Best wishes on your marriage.
    Oh and I adore the picture of your back to the camera kissing your man.

  • I loved every last detail of your wedding Kathryn! You both look so insanely happy and as you said, “in the moment”. So true about things not needing to be perfect to be perfect. Looks pretty spectacular to me! Thanks for sharing and congrats again!!!!

  • I don’t think it’s often you can call a post gorgeous, but this one most definitly is! It actually made me feel quite emotional! :-) Congratulations to you and your husband.

  • I love the pictures in here and all the funny shots they have made! Congratulations to the couple! I love it!

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Skip to toolbar