The groom’s mother sits in a strange spot on the wedding day. She’s in nearly every family photo, she’s greeting guests for hours, and yet nobody wants her hair to look like it’s competing with the bride’s. In my chair, that usually comes down to a style that suits her length and texture, sits right with her neckline, and stays put through a lot of hugging. A ballroom tends to call for a smooth twist or chignon; a garden ceremony can carry waves or a half up shape. Below are fifteen looks I’d happily put on a mother of the groom, with what each one needs to hold.
Coordinating With the Bride’s Side Without Matching Anyone
Nobody expects the two mothers to match, but they will stand next to each other in a lot of photos. A quick message to the bride, or to the mother of the bride, about how formal everyone is going helps you avoid one mother in a sleek chignon and the other in beach waves.
Ask the bride two simple things: is she wearing her hair up or down, and is she wearing a veil or headpiece? I’d steer you away from copying her shape exactly. If she’s in a low bun, a soft half up or a different updo keeps the photos varied. If she’s wearing flowers in her hair, skip them yourself and choose pearls or a plain comb instead.
If the bride’s stylist has room to do your hair as well, take it. One stylist working on the family usually means a consistent level of polish across the photos, and you’ll know the timing in advance.
If you’re doing your own hair, send the bride a photo of your trial run. It saves a surprise on the morning and gives her a chance to mention anything she’d rather avoid.
1. Mother Of The Groom Low Chignon
Start here if you’re unsure. A mother of the groom low chignon sits at the nape, so it works under almost any neckline, from a V-neck to off-the-shoulder to high-neck. It’s also the shape I trust most to survive a long ceremony and dinner. I build in a little crown volume first, because a chignon pulled tight against a flat crown ages the face. On medium hair it may need a small padding piece; on long hair it won’t. Pearl pins along the top edge are an easy finish.
2. Mother Of The Groom French Twist
A French twist lifts everything off the shoulders, so it shows earrings and a detailed neckline and gives a clean side profile. The modern version isn’t stiff. I backcomb the crown lightly, smooth only the surface, and let a few strands loosen at the temples. Medium to long hair is needed; anything shorter than the collarbone won’t reach the seam. Satin, lace, beaded and tailored evening dresses all suit it.
3. Mother Of The Groom Half Up Half Down Hair
For mothers who feel more like themselves with their hair down, this half up half down look is the compromise I suggest most. The top section is pinned back off the face; the length stays loose. It’s dressy enough indoors and relaxed enough outside. The weak point is the loose part, which drops curl over the day, so I set the ends tighter than the final look and brush them out just before you leave. Shoulder-length to long hair carries it best, with a slim comb or twist at the back.
4. Mother Of The Groom Soft Curls
Soft curls go wrong when they look pageant-tight. What I’m after is a loose curl brushed through gently with fingers so it reads smooth but touchable. Curls placed around the face soften a jawline and add body to fine hair. A side part looks more formal; a center part looks more current. Hold comes from a light spray, not a heavy one, which would make the hair crunchy by evening.
5. Mother Of The Groom Curly Updo
Naturally curly or wavy hair should be celebrated, not straightened, and a curly updo does exactly that. I define the curls first with a cream on damp hair, let them dry fully, and only then pin them loosely at the back or low at the nape. Pinning damp curls flattens them. With hair off the neck, it’s a good option for a warm-weather wedding or a late finish, and a few curls left around the face keep it soft.
6. Mother Of The Groom Sleek Bob
A mother of the groom sleek bob shows that short hair can be every bit as formal as an updo. Shine is the whole look, so the frizz has to go: I dry it with tension and finish with one pass of a flat iron, then turn the ends slightly under or leave them straight for a sharper edge. Statement earrings and structured dresses sit well with it. A deep side part dresses it up; a center part keeps it plain. Low maintenance, and it barely changes over twelve hours.
7. Mother Of The Groom Wavy Bob
Loose waves make a bob look fuller in photos, which is why I often suggest them for fine short hair. On a bob I create the bends with a flat iron rather than a curling iron, alternating direction so the waves don’t all clump together. They should look controlled enough for a wedding, not beachy. A side-swept front section frames the face. Garden, beach and semi-formal receptions suit this one best.
8. Mother Of The Groom Pixie Cut
A mother of the groom pixie cut doesn’t need decoration to look ready for a wedding. It needs lift at the crown, texture on top and clean sides, and that usually means a fresh cut about a week before. If the front is longer, I sweep it to one side. A small jeweled clip is fine, but the haircut should stay the focus; heavy accessories on a pixie can look like they’re sitting on top of the hair rather than in it.
9. Mother Of The Groom Side Swept Waves
Soft side swept waves move the hair to one side, opening the neckline on the other. One-shoulder dresses and wrap dresses suit them especially. The sweep needs a hidden anchor: I cross two bobby pins behind the ear on the swept side before the waves go over, so the hair has something to rest on. Medium to long hair is easiest, though shoulder-length hair can manage a shorter version.
10. Mother Of The Groom Textured Updo
Fine hair gains the most from a textured updo. Twists and loosened sections make the hair look thicker than it is, which a tight bun can’t do. Highlighted or dimensional color also benefits, since the twists show off several tones at once. The balance I aim for is a firm base pinned close to the head and a soft surface pulled gently loose with my fingertips. Lace and flowing gowns are a natural match.
11. Mother Of The Groom Low Bun
A low bun is the quiet option, and quiet is often what a groom’s mother wants. It can be slicked for black tie or relaxed for a daytime ceremony, and it sits calmly without height. I place it just above the nape so it doesn’t push against a high collar or a jacket. A side part softens it. If you find a tight bun harsh on your face, ask for a few face-framing pieces cut or curled loose.
12. Mother Of The Groom Shoulder Length Hair
Shoulder-length hair is the easiest length I work with. It holds curl well, isn’t heavy, and can be styled with soft waves, a smooth blowout or a gentle half up shape. The risk is that it looks like everyday hair unless the finish is deliberate. I add crown volume, smooth the ends so they don’t flip outward against the shoulders, and tuck one side behind the ear if the neckline has detail worth showing.
13. Mother Of The Groom Long Hair Updo
Long hair updos have a balance problem. Too much height reads dated, and too little structure looks flat in photographs. I build the volume at the crown and keep the rest low and close, whether that’s a bun, twist, braid or chignon. Long hair is heavy, so I spread the weight across many crossed pins rather than relying on one elastic. This is a good choice for warm weather and late nights, when you’ll want your neck clear.
14. Mother Of The Groom Braided Updo
Braids can look young if they’re tight and obvious. I keep this one loose and woven into a low bun or wrapped across the back, so it reads as texture rather than a plait. Balayage, highlights and grey-blended hair show the braid best, because the strands catch different tones. Leave the boho version for a rustic or garden wedding that actually calls for it.
15. Mother Of The Groom Hair With Accessories
One well-placed accessory finishes a simple style. Pearl pins, small crystal combs, a metallic barrette or a delicate floral clip can lift a plain bun, chignon, bob or half up look. Match the accessory to the dress: if your gown is heavily beaded, keep the hair piece small; if the outfit is plain, a more decorative comb has room. A comb needs pinned hair to grip, so I always slide it in over a crossed pair of bobby pins. To one side reads softer; pins scattered through a bun look classic.
The Mother and Son Dance Shows the Back of Your Hair
When I style a groom’s mother, I think through the moments that will test the hair, because they are different from the bride’s.
- The ceremony: you’re in the front row, so guests see the back of your head for the entire service. The pinning at the nape needs to be neat, not just the front.
- The receiving line: dozens of hugs press against one side of your head. Updos survive this better than loose curls.
- The mother and son dance: your son is often taller, so you’ll tilt your head up and the camera catches the back and side. Check that view at your trial.
- Dinner and speeches: you’ll lean against a chair back for an hour. A large bun at the crown can press uncomfortably; a low one sits flatter.
If the dance happens late, slip off to the restroom beforehand with a comb and two pins. A minute spent tucking a stray section is worth it for photos you’ll keep for decades.
Simple Hair, Done Well, Is Plenty
You don’t need the most complicated style to look polished on your son’s wedding day. A soft chignon, French twist, sleek bob, curly updo or half up shape will all look right when they suit your texture, your dress and the venue. Book a trial if you can, and keep the style in for several hours afterward so you know how it behaves. The small details make the difference: a bit of crown volume, a couple of face-framing pieces, real shine and one accessory at most.
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