Your son’s wedding puts you in more photographs than almost any other guest, often from the getting-ready shots in the morning until the last dance, so your hair has two jobs: look right next to your dress and still be standing late in the evening. As the mother of the groom, you also tend to get ready on a tighter schedule than the bride, sometimes sharing a stylist with the groom’s family. The twenty styles below cover short, medium and long hair, from French twists and chignons to soft waves worn down. Under each one I’ve added what I actually look at when a client asks for it: who it suits, where it tends to fail, and what to bring to your trial.
Grey, Fine or Freshly Coloured: Styling Hair That Has Changed
Most mothers of the groom I style are working with hair that behaves differently from how it did at their own wedding. Grey hair is often coarser and drier, and it can resist holding a curl, so I prep it with a light leave-in or smoothing cream before any heat. Hair that has thinned at the crown or temples needs volume built at the root, not just more spray on top.
If you colour your hair
Have it done about one to two weeks before the wedding. Colour settles in that time, so it won’t look brassy or too fresh in photos, and you still have room to fix it if the tone is wrong. This isn’t the moment to try a new shade for the first time.
If your hair is fine or thinning
Textured updos hide the scalp far better than slicked ones. Tell your stylist exactly where your thin areas are so she can place volume there. Clip-in pieces in a matched colour can bulk out a bun, and nobody will know they’re there. Bring them to the trial already colour-matched in daylight, not under shop lighting.
1. Classic French Twist for Mother of the Groom
This is the updo I reach for most often with mothers of the groom, because it holds its shape through a hug-heavy receiving line better than almost anything else. The hair is swept up and rolled into a vertical seam at the back, which leaves the neckline and earrings completely clear. On medium hair it’s quick. On fine or heavily layered hair, I backcomb the base lightly and lock a row of crossed bobby pins down the centre before rolling, otherwise short layers spring out of the seam by the reception. Keep it sleek for a formal venue or pull two pieces loose at the temples. A small comb tucked along the seam is all the decoration it needs.
2. Low Chignon With Face-Framing Strands
Clients who find high updos too severe usually settle here. A low chignon sits at the nape, and the loose face-framing strands do most of the softening. The first thing I ask is whether you’ll wear a hat or fascinator, because the bun has to sit low enough not to fight the brim. On fine hair, I pad the bun with a little of your own hair teased into a ring rather than a foam donut, since foam shows through thin sections in close-up photos. Statement earrings sit well beside it.
3. Soft Waves With a Side Sweep
Soft waves swept gently to one side are the answer for anyone who feels like a stranger with her hair up. The catch: waves worn down drop faster than any updo, especially in a warm marquee. I set each curl in a pin curl and let it cool completely before brushing out, then hide one pin behind the ear on the swept side so the weight can’t slide forward. Medium to long hair suits it. Put a chandelier earring on the open side.
4. Textured Messy Updo
A messy updo looks casual, but it actually takes more pins than a sleek one, because every pulled-out strand is a strand that isn’t secured. I prep with dry texture spray so the hair grips itself, pin the shape firmly underneath, and only then tease out the softness on top. That texture makes fine hair look fuller and takes weight off thick hair. It sits naturally with chiffon dresses and garden venues. At a black-tie evening, though, I’d steer you toward something smoother, since it can read as unfinished next to everyone else’s formal dress.
5. Crown Braid Updo
A crown braid wraps the head like a band, so nothing falls in your face and there’s almost no upkeep once it’s in. Placement changes the mood: I set the braid high on the crown for a formal wedding and lower, near the hairline, for a gentler look. You need roughly shoulder length to make it all the way round; shorter hair can be braided across the front and finished in a small bun at the back. Silver and grey hair show the braid pattern clearly, which is a real point in its favour. Leave soft tendrils near the ears so it doesn’t look strict.
6. Twisted Half-Up Half-Down Style
Can’t decide between up and down? I take a section from each temple, twist them back and pin them at the crown, then wave the lengths. It shows off long hair and frames the face. What I watch is weight. Thick, long hair can drag the twists loose within a few hours, so I secure them with two crossed pins under each twist rather than one clip. With a high collar, the loose lengths can catch on the fabric, so check that at your fitting.
7. Sleek Low Bun
There’s nothing to hide behind with a sleek low bun, and that’s exactly why some clients love it. Every strand is brushed back into a neat knot at the nape, so your face and jewellery take over. Structured dresses and bold earrings suit it, and with nothing loose it lasts all day. My caution is honest: a fully slicked style shows every cowlick and any thinning around the hairline. If your parting has widened or your temples are sparse, I’d soften it with a side part and a slightly looser front instead.
8. Romantic Curls With Volume
Big curls read as festive. I use a medium barrel iron, pin each curl while it’s hot, and only brush out once everything is cold, then break the curls up with my fingers. Worn down or pinned loosely back, they add movement to every length and fullness to fine hair. Fine hair also loses curl fastest in humidity, so I mist a setting spray before the iron and a flexible spray after. Short hair can take curls too; you just need a smaller barrel.
9. Elegant Updo With Side Braid
Here the hair is swept into a smooth bun or twist, and a slim braid runs along one side from the temple into it. It gives you detail without anything sparkly, and medium to long hair handles it well. I braid it slightly loose and gently pull the edges wider, because a tight braid disappears when you’re photographed from across a room. Leave a few pieces by the face. Ask yourself which side you prefer in photos and put the braid there.
10. Vintage Finger Waves
Finger waves are a set style, not a curled one. The S-shaped ridges are formed with gel, a comb and clips, then dried hard before they’re released, so you need a stylist who has genuinely done them before and a longer slot in the chair. They suit short to medium hair, bobs especially, and they belong at formal evening weddings with a vintage brooch or Art Deco earrings. I wouldn’t choose them for a windy clifftop or a rainy outdoor ceremony. Done properly, they give you old Hollywood glamour nobody else in the room will be wearing.
11. Soft Pixie Cut With Texture
Short hair is the easiest to keep wedding-ready, and a soft pixie cut just needs texture to look dressed up. A small amount of paste worked through the ends, with lift at the crown, stops it lying flat. Sweep the fringe to one side. I’d book the cut itself one to two weeks before the wedding so the edges have softened but still look neat. With no hair competing for attention, earrings carry more weight here, so that’s where to spend on accessories.
12. Classic Bob With Soft Curls
A timeless bob holds curl well because the length is short and light. I use a small or medium barrel, curl away from the face, then brush through gently so it waves rather than ringlets. The risk is curling right to the tips and losing the clean line of the cut, so I leave the last inch slightly straighter. A clip on one side adds a little sparkle. Through the day you can refresh it with your fingers, no tools needed.
13. Half-Up Style With Volume
A voluminous half-up style lifts the eye and lengthens the face. The height comes from backcombing at the roots under the top layer, then smoothing the surface back over it, with waves through the loose lengths. Medium to long hair suits it. I find it especially flattering on mothers whose hair has thinned on top, because the crown volume fills exactly that spot. Pin it from underneath with crossed pins; a single barrette slides straight out of silky hair.
14. Modern Twisted Bun
Small twists or braids worked into the knot give the back of your head some detail, which matters more than people expect: during the ceremony most guests see you from behind. The twists lock into each other, so it holds through a long day. Medium to long hair works. I keep the twists a little loose so they read in pictures. If your dress has a busy back, with lace or buttons, I’d make the bun plainer so the two don’t compete.
15. Loose Bohemian Waves
For a relaxed or outdoor wedding, where a structured updo can look out of place, I make natural waves with a flat iron or large barrel and brush them out until no defined curls remain. Leave it all down or pin one side back. If you want fresh flowers in it, pick sturdy ones like spray roses or wax flower; delicate blooms wilt within hours once they’re out of water. Medium to long hair works best. Bring a few pins in your bag, since loose hair needs a quick reset after dinner.
16. Polished Updo With Volume at the Crown
Height at the crown adds length to your whole silhouette, which is why I use it for traditional and formal weddings. The hair goes into a smooth bun or twist with lift on top, finished with a velvet ribbon or one plain pin. Medium to thick hair holds the volume best. On fine hair, I build the height with backcombing and a little volumising powder at the roots. Check it against any headpiece at your trial, because a tall crown and a hat rarely agree.
17. Side-Swept Updo
Gathering all the hair to one side, near the ear or the nape, gives you an asymmetrical shape that balances an off-shoulder or one-shoulder neckline. Medium to long hair suits it. Because every bit of weight goes one way, the pins have to sit on the heavy side, angled in toward the scalp, or the shape slowly slips. Loose tendrils by the face soften it. Sweep it to the side you’d like the camera to see.
18. Smooth Blowout With Body
A smooth blowout with body is the most comfortable option on this list. A round brush and a dryer smooth the hair and build bounce at the roots and ends, so it looks healthy and full on any length and with any dress. I curl the ends lightly afterward so the shape lasts. On humid days a blowout reverts faster on naturally wavy hair, so keep a little anti-frizz serum in your bag. It only works if the cut is good, so get a trim a week or two before.
19. Braided Updo With Soft Waves
This one mixes the two: thin braids woven into an updo, while the rest of the hair keeps soft waves. Medium length is ideal, long enough to braid but not so heavy that the updo drags. I braid first and curl the remaining hair afterward, so the heat doesn’t loosen the braids. Leave a few pieces by the face. It takes noticeably longer than a simple bun, so allow extra time in the chair on the morning.
20. Sleek Straight Hair With a Deep Side Part
Sleek straight hair with a deep side part looks sharp and modern. A smoothing product and a flat iron give shine, and the deep part creates volume on one side of the face. It works on every length and pairs with bold earrings and structured dresses. On grey hair it shows off the silver well. Practise the part before the day: hair you’ve parted on one side for decades won’t lie flat on the other, so choose the side your hair already falls to.
Glasses, Hats and the Groom’s Side Getting Ready
Three practical things change which of these styles will work for you, and they’re the ones I see forgotten most often.
- Glasses. If you wear them all day, bring them to your trial. I style the hair around the arms, so the pins don’t press behind your ears and the frames don’t push the hair out of shape.
- Hats and fascinators. A fascinator usually sits on one side, toward the front, and needs a firm base underneath. Bring it along so the bun goes where the headpiece doesn’t.
- The morning. You may be photographed with the groom before the ceremony, so book your stylist early enough to be finished first. Wear a button-front top so you don’t pull anything over your head afterward.
Pack a small bag for the day with a few bobby pins, a travel hairspray and a comb. It’s enough to fix almost anything after hugs, wind or a long dinner.
Your Hair Should Still Feel Like Yours After the Speeches
Start with your dress and your hair as it is now. A French twist, loose waves and a textured updo can all look right; the one to wear is the one that suits your hair type, sits well with your neckline and still feels comfortable after dinner. Book a trial a few weeks before, wear a top with a similar neckline, and have someone take photos from the front, the side and the back. Then you can spend your son’s wedding with him instead of thinking about your hair.
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