The mother of the bride gets photographed almost as often as the bride, usually from closer than she’d like, and her hair has to last the same long day: hugs at the aisle, a few tears, a car ride, a warm reception room and at least one dance she didn’t plan on. When I sit a mum in my chair, my brief to myself is short. It should look polished, feel comfortable, and still look like her at eleven at night. The styles that manage that are soft rather than sculpted: low buns, half-up waves, smooth bobs, brushed curls and a few loose pieces around the face. Short or long, fine or thick, gray, blonde, brunette, or auburn, there’s a version below that will sit well with your neckline and your earrings.
Your Slot in the Bridal Party Hair Schedule
On most wedding mornings I work to a running order, and I usually put the mother of the bride near the end, just before the bride. That’s deliberate. You’ll be hugging people and fussing over buttons for hours, so a later slot means fresher hair at the ceremony. If you need to go first because you’re also running the house, ask for a five-minute touch-up later rather than an extra-firm set that feels like a helmet.
A few small things make your time in the chair go smoothly:
- Wear a top that buttons or zips at the front, so nothing gets pulled over finished hair.
- Wash your hair the night before unless your stylist says otherwise. Squeaky-clean hair often refuses to hold pins.
- Bring a photo of your outfit’s neckline and the earrings you plan to wear. A high collar and a deep V need the hair at different heights.
- Tell me early if you run warm or tend to tuck hair behind your ears. Both change how I build the style.
It also helps to know how you want to look next to the bride. Some brides like their mother to echo their own look, a low bun beside a low bun. Others would rather you look like the best version of yourself. A two-minute conversation with your daughter before anyone books a chair settles it.
1. Mother Of The Bride Low Bun
If a mum can’t decide, I usually steer her here first. A low bun is the most forgiving of the bridal mom hairstyles because it sits at the nape, away from the face, so it never looks severe and it leaves earrings and a collar detail on show. On medium to long hair I curl it loosely before gathering, which gives the bun more body than brushing it straight back. Fine hair gets a little backcombing at the crown and two crossed pins underneath the bun, where they lock against each other instead of sliding out.
2. Mother Of The Bride Half Up Half Down Hair
Half up suits the mum who always wears her hair down and would feel like someone else in a full updo. The trick is in how much I take up. A narrow section from the temples, twisted or lightly braided and pinned at the crown, keeps hair off the face for hugs and photos while the lengths stay curled over the shoulders. Fine, straight hair drops its curl faster when it’s left loose, so I set those curls with a firmer hold and pin them up to cool. Keep the front pieces soft rather than sprayed stiff; crunchy tendrils are the first thing that looks dated in pictures.
3. Mother Of The Bride French Twist
A French twist needs a dress that can match it: an evening ceremony, a structured shoulder, a high neckline. On a floaty daytime dress it can look a bit too formal. The hair is swept up and tucked into a vertical roll, which lengthens the neck nicely. I build the roll over a line of crossed pins running up the back of the head, so it has a spine to hold onto. I also keep it a touch soft and leave a wisp at each temple, because a perfectly tight twist can age the face. Fine hair can still do this with a small padded insert or a clip-in weft hidden inside the roll.
4. Mother Of The Bride Chignon
The chignon is the style I trust most on a hot day. It sits low, close to the head, and keeps every strand off the neck through photos, walking and dancing. Because it can be smooth, twisted or loosely knotted, it goes with almost anything, from off-the-shoulder gowns to a lace jacket. Very silky hair is the one problem: pins slide straight out of it. I mist texture spray through the lengths first so there’s something for the pins to grip, then add a little lift at the crown and a couple of loose strands so the shape doesn’t look scraped back.
5. Mother Of The Bride Short Bob Hair
Short hair doesn’t need to be pinned up to look dressed. With a bob, I work with the cut you already have rather than against it. A smooth tucked bob reads sharp and modern, while a softly waved bob feels more relaxed. Root lift with a round brush, ends bent under, and perhaps one side swept back behind a small jewelled pin. Have the cut trimmed about a week before rather than the day before, so the line has softened and doesn’t look freshly chopped in the photographs.
6. Mother Of The Bride Curly Updo
Curly hair gives you an updo with built-in volume, so I never brush it out to start. I gather the curls as they are, with damp hands and a curl cream, and pin them into a loose shape low or slightly to one side, depending on the neckline. Thick and coily textures hold this with very little teasing. What I watch for is frizz from handling, so I touch the curls as little as possible and set them with a flexible gel rather than a hard spray. A few tendrils at the temples stop it looking too round.
7. Mother Of The Bride Shoulder Length Waves
Lobs and collarbone cuts are made for this. I wave the hair in alternating directions with a large barrel, let it cool, then brush through so the waves soften and join up. A side part looks more dressed; a middle part feels younger and softer. Brushed waves suit garden weddings and daytime ceremonies better than tight curls, which can look old-fashioned. The honest caveat: shoulder-length waves drop faster than an updo in humid weather, so if the reception is outdoors in summer I’d plan a quick refresh with a small travel iron or a few pins at the back.
8. Mother Of The Bride Sleek Bun
A sleek bun is clean and minimal, and it suits a structured dress, a high neck or bold earrings. It’s also the style I suggest for humid venues, because hair that’s contained can’t frizz much. My worry with it on mothers of the bride is harshness. Scraped tight with a wet-look gel, it can pull at the hairline and look stern in close-ups. I keep a little height at the crown, smooth flyaways with a light cream instead of gel, and finish with a soft shine spray so it looks polished rather than lacquered.
9. Mother Of The Bride Side Swept Curls
The swept side has to be anchored or it creeps back to centre within an hour, so I always hide a pair of crossed pins behind the ear on the far side before I move any curls across. Curled, softly brushed and draped over one shoulder, this frames the face and shows off a one-shoulder or V-neck dress and a good pair of earrings. It suits medium to long hair; shorter lengths can borrow fullness from clip-ins. Keep the curls smooth and defined rather than tight and crunchy.
10. Mother Of The Bride Braided Updo
Braids do two jobs here. They add detail, and they lock shorter layers into place so nothing pokes out of the updo by evening. The braid can wrap around a bun, run along one side or melt into a low pinned shape. On fine hair I braid loosely and then gently pull the edges of each loop wider, which makes the hair look noticeably thicker in photos. I’d avoid tight, neat braids on mums who don’t usually wear them; they can look more like a school-day style than an occasion one.
11. Mother Of The Bride Pixie Cut
A pixie cut can look every bit as dressed up as an updo when it’s styled on purpose. I don’t try to force short hair into a shape it can’t hold; I work with texture and shine instead. A soft side sweep looks polished, piecey texture looks more current, and longer top layers can take a small bend or a lifted crown with a little mousse and a flat brush. Keep accessories small, maybe one pearl pin above an ear. The bonus is that you won’t spend the reception wondering whether pins are slipping.
12. Mother Of The Bride Loose Updo
A loose updo looks unstructured, but it takes the most hidden work of anything on this list. I build a firm base first, usually a small pinned ponytail or a few anchored twists, and then pin soft curled sections around it, so the outside looks relaxed while the inside is doing the holding. That’s why it lasts through an outdoor wedding when a genuinely loose style would slide. It suits mums who dislike tight, formal hair, and I can adjust it for different face shapes by moving the height at the crown and the pieces around the temples.
13. Mother Of The Bride Long Hair Curls
Long curls worn down should still look finished, not like a night out. I curl in sections, pin each curl up to cool, and only brush them out once they’re completely cold, because hair that’s brushed warm drops almost straight away. If your hair is slippery, I prep it with mousse at the roots and a light setting spray. Long layers help the curls move instead of hanging heavy. A side part, a little crown lift or one front section pinned back makes it feel formal enough, without drawing attention from the bride.
14. Mother Of The Bride Gray Hair Updo
Gray hair is often the easiest hair I style for an updo, because all that natural variation in tone shows up every twist and curl. Silver, white and salt-and-pepper make pinned sections far more visible than a single flat colour would. The main thing I watch is product. Heavy sprays and dry shampoos can leave gray looking chalky in flash photography, so I use a shine spray and keep any powder to the roots. A purple shampoo a day or two before takes out any yellow tinge. A low bun, chignon or soft updo shows the colour off, and it reads confident and grown-up.
15. Mother Of The Bride Blowout
A smooth blowout is for the mum who wants no pins at all. She just wants to look like herself on her best hair day. It works on short, medium and long hair, and layers help most because they give the round brush something to shape around the face. I apply a light mousse at the roots before drying, lift at the crown, and bend the ends with the brush, then a flexible spray once it’s cooled. The weak spot is heat. If the venue is warm, carry a small comb and a few clips for a quick lift at the roots before the speeches.
Glasses, Hearing Aids and a Thinner Crown
Inspiration photos skip the practical details that matter to a lot of mothers of the bride. They’re easy for me to plan around if you mention them up front, and awkward to fix once the pins are in.
If you wear glasses
Bring them and put them on before I finish the sides. The arms sit exactly where face-framing pieces and pins go, and a sleek side can end up pushed out over the ear. I’d leave soft tendrils in front of the arms rather than behind; they look more natural in photos.
If you wear hearing aids
Behind-the-ear devices can whistle when hair or spray presses against them, and tight sections over the ear get uncomfortable by the speeches. A low bun with loose hair falling over the ears hides them and leaves room to adjust. I’ll shield them with a hand before spraying, or you can take them out for the spray and pop them back in.
If the crown has thinned
Heavy teasing at the crown tends to collapse by the reception and can show scalp under a camera flash. A clip-in topper or a small padded insert gives lift that lasts, and a side part with a little root powder in a matching shade hides more than you’d expect. If this bothers you, skip very sleek pulled-back styles, since they show the hairline most clearly.
For all three, carry four bobby pins, a small comb and a travel spray. Someone will need them before the night is out, and it’s often the bride.
Share a Picture With the Bride Before the Morning
The right style is the one you stop thinking about once the ceremony starts. A low bun, a French twist, a curly updo, a glossy bob or simply a good blowout will all look right at a wedding if it suits your hair and the way you like to look. Bring photos to your stylist, but listen if she suggests a small change for your face or texture. If you’re adding extensions, a new part or a hair accessory, I’d book a trial. And send the bride a picture beforehand. Most brides like being asked, and it means nobody is surprised in the first family photo.
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