The mother of the bride or groom gets photographed almost as much as the couple, and she’s usually the one hugging every guest, bending to fix a hem and dabbing her eyes. Her hair has to cope with all of that. When I style mums, I’m thinking less about trends and more about what her hair does now, which is often finer, greyer or coarser than it was ten years ago, and what will still sit neatly at eleven at night. Below are twenty styles I do regularly for mothers, across short, medium and long hair, with notes on how each one holds and who it suits.
Grey Strands, Finer Crowns and Hair That Has Changed Texture
A lot of mothers tell me at the trial that their hair doesn’t behave the way it used to. That’s normal. With age and hormonal changes, hair often gets finer at the crown and temples, grey strands come in coarser and wirier, and some hair loses the natural wave it had or gains a new one. The styles below all still work, but I adjust how I build them.
If the Crown Has Thinned
Avoid very sleek, scraped-back styles that show the scalp under bright light and flash. Soft volume at the crown, a slightly off-centre part and a textured updo hide thinning far better. A root powder that matches your colour can fill in a part line, and a small clip-in at the back can add body to a bun without anyone knowing.
If the Grey Is Coarse or Yellowing
Coarse grey strands stand up at the hairline and refuse to lie flat, so I smooth them with a light cream or wax stick before styling. Grey and silver hair can pick up a yellow cast from heat and pollution; a purple shampoo used once or twice in the week before the wedding brightens it, though overusing it can leave a lilac tint. And grey often holds curl better than darker hair did, which works in your favour for waves and soft sets.
1. Low Chignon for Mother of the Bride
The low chignon is my most requested style for mothers, and it’s the one I trust most to last. I gather the hair at the nape, twist it into a smooth bun and lock it with U-pins pushed against the twist rather than straight in, which holds without digging into the scalp. Sleek suits a formal evening; a few loosened strands soften it for daytime. It leaves room for statement earrings or a delicate hairpiece. On fine hair, I backcomb the base lightly first so the bun has some size and doesn’t shrink to a small knot.
2. Classic French Twist Updo
A French twist sweeps the hair upward and tucks it into a vertical roll at the back of the head, giving a tall, clean line. It needs some length, roughly to the shoulders at least, or the ends won’t tuck in. I anchor it with a row of crossed bobby pins along the centre before rolling, which is what stops it unravelling on the dance floor. A jewelled comb slides into the fold neatly. Very thick, heavy hair can make the roll bulky, so I sometimes thin the inside of the twist with a light hand rather than fighting it.
3. Soft Half-Up Half-Down Style
Half up suits mothers who feel exposed with all their hair pulled back. I lift the crown slightly, secure it with a small hidden elastic under crossed pins, and let the rest fall over the shoulders with loose curls. A few face-framing pieces soften the jawline. It needs medium to long hair. The honest trade-off is longevity: hair worn down drops faster than an updo, especially in heat, so I set the curls properly and let them cool before brushing out.
4. Romantic Loose Curls
Loose curls add movement and soften the face. I curl with a medium barrel, pin each curl to cool, and only then brush them into soft waves or keep them tighter and bouncier. Worn down or swept to one side, they pair best with off-shoulder and sweetheart necklines. For a relaxed, beachy finish, I brush through more and use a texture spray instead of firm hold. Grey hair that’s gone coarse often holds a curl better than it did when it was darker, which surprises a lot of mums.
5. Sleek Blowout for Medium Hair
A good blowout is underrated. On medium-length hair I lift the roots with a round brush and keep the ends smooth and slightly bevelled under, which gives body without looking set. It flatters most faces and pairs with plain or ornate gowns alike. Medium hair that’s fine will fall flat by evening, though, so I use a volumising mousse at the root and a light hairspray, and suggest bringing a small round brush or velcro roller for a quick refresh before the speeches.
6. Elegant Low Bun With Side Part
Moving the part to one side changes the whole balance of the face, drawing the eye diagonally and softening a strong jaw. I sweep the hair smoothly across, gather it into a soft bun at the nape and pin it on the side opposite the part so the bun looks centred from the front. It works sleek for formal settings or with gentle waves. High necklines and drop earrings sit well with it. If your hair has always parted on one side, ask your stylist to use that side; fighting a natural cowlick for twelve hours rarely ends well.
7. Voluminous Curly Updo
Curly and coily hair has its own structure, and a voluminous curly updo uses it rather than straightening it out. I gather the curls high or low, pin them in sections with larger hairpins so the curl pattern isn’t flattened, and let a few coils frame the face. A curl cream applied the night before gives better definition than anything added on the morning. Bold earrings and statement gowns carry it well. I avoid heavy hairspray on textured curls, since it dries them out and dulls the shine.
8. Pinned Back Waves for Short Hair
Short hair can look as dressed as long hair. I set soft waves through a bob or longer crop, then pin the sides back with flat pins hidden under the wave, so the hair is off the face but the texture still shows. A small jewelled clip or two decorative pins finish it neatly. It works best from chin length down to a longer pixie; very short crops don’t leave enough hair to pin. It’s also one of the easiest styles to wear all day, because there’s no weight pulling on the scalp.
9. Braided Crown Updo
A braid wrapped around the head frames the face like a halo. I usually build it from two Dutch braids pancaked out for width, then pin them across the crown, which means medium to long hair is needed. You can finish with a low bun or soft loose pieces. Small flowers tucked into the braid suit outdoor and spring weddings. Fine hair can look thin in a braid, so I use clip-in pieces woven into the plait when a mum wants more volume, and nobody can tell once it’s pinned.
10. Side-Swept Glamorous Waves
Side-swept waves borrow from old Hollywood. I set the hair in pin curls or with a large barrel, brush the waves out in one direction, and sweep them over one shoulder with a hidden pin behind the ear to hold the shape. It’s dramatic and shiny, and it suits one-shoulder gowns and big earrings. This look needs a strong set to survive humidity; in a hot outdoor venue I’d consider a lower, pinned version so the waves don’t drop.
11. Textured Twist Updo
Instead of one smooth roll, I twist individual sections and pin each one loosely, which gives a soft, dimensional updo with some volume. A few loose pieces near the face keep it from looking stiff. Medium to long hair works, and it suits classic or modern dresses. I like it for mothers with layered cuts, because short layers that would poke out of a sleek bun disappear into the texture here.
12. Smooth French Roll
A smooth French roll is the more polished cousin of the twist, tucked into a clean vertical line with a sleek surface. For mums who plan to dance, I set it with a row of anchoring pins and a firm spray, and it rarely moves all night. It suits formal gowns and statement jewellery, and you can add a slight wave at the front for softness. The surface shows every flyaway, so I smooth the hair with a light cream before rolling, especially on grey hair, which tends to be wiry at the hairline.
13. Half-Up Style With Flowers
Fresh flowers in a half-up style suit spring and garden weddings and tie the mother into the wedding palette. I lift the crown, pin it, and tuck small blooms into the pinned sections, with curls or soft waves below. Ask your florist for sturdy, small flowers such as spray roses or wax flower, which last longer out of water than delicate blooms. I wire or pin them in last, just before you leave, so they’re fresh for the photos.
14. Sleek Straight Hair Down
Straight, glossy hair worn down is the minimal option, and it relies completely on the condition of the hair. I smooth every section with a flat iron at a moderate heat and finish with a light serum for shine. A centre part reads more modern; a side part is softer on the face, so choose what you look best in. It suits clean, structured gowns. In humid weather straight hair can frizz or go limp, so plan for that, and it’s not a style I’d recommend for very curly hair unless it’s been professionally smoothed.
15. Twisted Low Ponytail
A low ponytail with twisted or wrapped sections reads as polished but feels like a day off. I gather the hair at the nape, twist the side sections back before tying, and wrap a piece of hair around the elastic to hide it. Face-framing pieces can stay loose, or keep it sleek for formal events. It suits medium to long hair. It’s also the kindest style if you get headaches from tight pinning, because the weight sits low and evenly.
16. Vintage Finger Waves
Finger waves are sculpted S-shaped ridges set close to the head, and they need a stylist who has done them before. I shape them wet with gel and a comb, then let them dry fully, or use a curling iron and clips on dry hair for a softer version. They suit short to medium hair, art deco jewellery and classic gowns. The wet-set method takes time, so allow extra in the schedule. I’d book a trial for this one without question, because the shape depends heavily on how your hair takes the set.
17. Loose Updo With Face-Framing Tendrils
A loose updo with soft tendrils balances polish with ease. Hair is gathered softly at the back and a few pieces fall around the face to soften the features. The tendrils are where it can go wrong: too many, or ones left straight and limp, look accidental. I pick two or three pieces at most, curl them and leave them a little longer than the jaw. It works at formal or outdoor weddings and is comfortable to wear.
18. Polished Bob With Soft Volume
A polished bob with soft volume shows that a short cut can look dressed. I lift the crown with a round brush, bevel the ends under and keep the surface smooth. A small decorative pin above one ear makes it feel like an occasion. If you’re having a trim before the wedding, do it two to three weeks before, so the cut has time to settle and doesn’t look freshly chopped in photos. Every neckline suits it, and drop earrings show off well.
19. Soft Waves With Deep Side Part
A deep side part sweeps volume to one side and gives the face an asymmetric, softer frame. Waves can be loose and beachy or polished and glossy. The side with all the hair gets heavy, so I hide a couple of pins behind the ear on that side to stop it sliding forward over the face during the ceremony. It works on medium to long hair and suits most gowns.
20. Elegant High Bun With Volume
Set at the crown, a high bun lengthens the neck and shows off earrings and an open neckline. I add volume by teasing the base or using a bun form that matches the hair colour, so the shape stays soft rather than severe. Black-tie and traditional weddings suit it, sleek or with texture. One practical check: if you’re wearing a hat or fascinator, a high bun can get in the way, so tell your stylist before the trial and we’ll place the bun to suit it.
Colour Touch-Ups, Glasses and Your Place in the Hair Schedule
Mothers often get fitted in around the bride, which is fine if a few things are sorted in advance. Here’s what I ask every mum to plan for.
- Root colour about a week to ten days before, so the colour has softened and any scalp sensitivity has calmed down.
- A trim two to three weeks ahead, not the day before.
- Wash your hair the day before unless your stylist says otherwise; second-day hair grips pins better.
- Tell your stylist if you wear glasses or hearing aids, so pins and curls are placed clear of the arms and the ears.
- If you’re wearing a hat or fascinator, bring it to the trial. It changes where the bun can sit.
On the morning itself, mothers usually go before the bride, often just after the bridesmaids, so they’re dressed and ready to be in the getting-ready photos. Wear a button-front top so you don’t pull anything over your head once your hair is done.
Finally, ask for a few spare pins and a small travel hairspray to go in your bag. You’ll be hugging a lot of people, and a quick fix in the bathroom before the speeches keeps everything looking as it did in the morning.
A Style You Can Hug Fifty Guests In
The right style for a mother of the couple is one that suits your gown, flatters your face and survives a long day of hugs, tears and dancing. Whether you lean toward a chignon, curls or a polished bob, book a trial a couple of months ahead and wear it through an evening so you know how it feels at hour six. Bring your earrings and any hairpiece. When the hair is settled, you can stop thinking about it and enjoy watching your child get married.
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