When I do hair for the groom’s mother, the brief is nearly always the same: she wants to look dressed up and still like herself, and she does not want to spend the evening worrying about pins. She will be hugged by more people than almost anyone except the couple, and she’ll be in a lot of family portraits. So hold and comfort matter as much as the shape. Below are fifteen styles I’d consider, from low chignons to short cuts with a fascinator, with notes on hair length, texture and the dress each one works with.
Silver, Thinning or Freshly Coloured Hair Before the Wedding
Most of the hair I see at this stage of life has changed since it was last styled for a big event. Grey and silver hair is coarser and often yellows from heat styling, products and sun. A purple or silver shampoo used a few times in the week before keeps it bright; used for the first time the night before, it can leave a lilac cast.
- Colour or root touch-up: one to two weeks before, so the shade has softened and doesn’t look brand-new against your skin.
- Cut: about two weeks before, so the line has settled.
- Gloss or shine treatment: a week out, especially for grey hair, which can look dull in flash photos.
- Thinning crown: tell your stylist at the trial. Root powder, a small topper or a clip-in piece can fill it, and the style can be built to cover it.
Hot flushes are also worth mentioning to your stylist. A style that keeps hair off the neck, with a flexible spray rather than a hard one, will cope better than heavy curls worn down if you tend to get warm.
1. Mother Of The Groom Low Chignon
If I had to pick one style for a groom’s mother who isn’t sure what she wants, it would be this. The hair is gathered at the nape and twisted into a smooth or softly textured bun, so nothing pulls at the hairline and nothing presses against a chair back. I add a little lift at the crown, which matters more as hair thins with age. It sits well with a detailed neckline or a strong earring. In humid weather it’s the safest option here, because there’s no loose length to frizz.
2. Mother Of The Groom Half Up Half Down Hair
Half up suits mothers who usually wear their hair down and would feel overdressed in a full updo. The top section is pinned back, keeping hair out of the face during the ceremony, while the lengths stay soft at the shoulders. It needs medium to long hair. I usually anchor the top with a small twist rather than a single clip, because clips slide on smooth or fine hair. A pearl pin or comb at the join adds a little occasion.
3. Mother Of The Groom French Twist
The French twist is a vertical roll up the back of the head, and it’s the most formal option here. I save it for church ceremonies, ballrooms and black-tie dress codes. It needs hair at least shoulder length with some grip; very slippery or freshly washed hair keeps unrolling. A sleek finish looks classic, while a slightly loosened one reads more current. High necklines and lace suit it, and one decorative pin at the side of the roll is plenty.
4. Mother Of The Groom Soft Curls
Soft curls worn down are a good choice for a mother who doesn’t like the feel of pins. I curl, let the curls cool, then brush them into a smooth, open shape so they read as polished waves rather than ringlets. Shoulder-length and longer hair works. A side part adds some lift. Flexible spray keeps it touchable for hugs; anything stronger goes crunchy and looks dated in close-up.
5. Mother Of The Groom Low Bun
A low bun is softer and rounder than a chignon and a little less formal. It sits at the neck, so accessories go above it easily. For fine or thinning hair, I’ll build it over a small padding piece or add a couple of clip-in wefts so the bun has real size without excessive teasing. Leave out a piece or two at the front if pulled-back hair makes you feel too strict.
6. Mother Of The Groom Short Bob Hair
A short bob is best styled as itself, not forced into an updo. A smooth blowout, a slight bend at the ends or one side tucked behind an ear is usually enough. Book the trim two weeks ahead so the line has softened. It suits modern dresses, tailored suits and separates. A jewelled clip at the side part adds a formal note. Bobs are also the easiest to touch up yourself between photos.
7. Mother Of The Groom Loose Updo
A loose updo has a soft surface over a firm, hidden base. It works for many face shapes because the pieces around the face can be adjusted. Garden and outdoor weddings suit it, and it’s forgiving: as it relaxes later in the evening, it gets softer rather than falling apart. Make sure the base is pinned securely, since that’s what keeps it up while the surface stays touchable.
8. Mother Of The Groom Side Swept Hair
Sweeping everything to one side adds some glamour to a simple dress. The hair falls over one shoulder in curls or waves, or is pinned low on that side. A deep part lifts the roots and frames the face. It suits one-shoulder and off-the-shoulder gowns. Sweep it toward the side you’ll mostly be photographed from, and keep the finish controlled; a side sweep that loses its curl just looks lopsided.
9. Mother Of The Groom Shoulder Length Hair
Shoulder length gives more options than people expect, since it can be curled, waved, pinned or put into a small updo. Soft waves are the most flattering choice I offer at this length, because they add movement without needing more hair. The ends can turn under for a classic finish or flip out for a lighter one. I add volume at the crown and keep the front smooth, which is where the camera looks first. It goes with almost any dress and is comfortable to wear for a long day.
10. Mother Of The Groom Braided Updo
Braids add texture and lock the hair in place, which is helpful for thick hair that wants to escape a bun. The braid can wrap into a low bun, frame the crown or blend into a twist. On finer hair, I’ll use light teasing and pancake the braid to widen it. For a groom’s mother, I keep braids neat and flat rather than chunky and boho, which can read young. A few small pins add sparkle.
11. Mother Of The Groom Curly Updo
Curly hair goes up beautifully, but it needs to be styled with curl products, not fought with a brush. I pin curls in clusters at the low or middle of the head and leave a few around the face. Ask your stylist to work with your own routine, so the products don’t react unexpectedly on the day. Hold should come from gel or mousse set early, not from a crunchy spray at the end. It works for formal and outdoor weddings alike.
12. Mother Of The Groom Pixie Cut
A pixie cut needs styling, not changing. Lift at the crown, a side-swept fringe or a sleek tucked shape makes short hair look finished. A delicate pin, a small comb or a satin headband adds a formal touch. Get the cut a week or two before so it isn’t too sharp in photos. It shows off earrings and a neckline well, and there’s nothing to come undone on the dance floor.
13. Mother Of The Groom Sleek Ponytail
A sleek ponytail is a modern, practical choice, especially for a mother who’ll be helping with things all day. It needs smooth roots and a little height at the crown; flat roots on a ponytail can look severe in profile. I wrap a section of hair around the elastic to hide it and curl or bend the length. It suits structured gowns and high necklines. A single piece at the front softens it.
14. Mother Of The Groom Vintage Waves
Vintage waves are sculpted, glossy S-shapes, usually on a deep side part. They’re set with a curling iron or pin curls, then brushed and shaped with clips until the pattern is continuous. They suit bob, lob, shoulder-length and long hair. Satin and beaded dresses go well with them. Keep the waves brushed out, not crisp, to avoid a costume feel. A small clip on the tucked side helps them stay put.
15. Mother Of The Groom Hair With Fascinator
A fascinator needs a calm hairstyle underneath, and something solid to anchor it. A low bun, a soft chignon, a sleek bob or side-swept waves all work. I usually place it slightly to one side, above the part or toward the crown, and I pin through the comb or clip into a small hidden twist. Headband-style fascinators press on the head over hours, so try yours on for a while before the day. Keep earrings and other accessories simple.
Where the Groom’s Mother Fits Into the Hair Schedule
The groom’s mother is often getting ready somewhere other than the bridal suite, and her hair gets forgotten in the planning. Family photos tend to happen before the ceremony, sometimes hours before, so your hair needs to be finished earlier than you might think. Ask the couple for the photo timeline first, then work back.
There are two good routes. Joining the bride’s hair team keeps the styles consistent across the family photos, but slots are tight and you may be done early. Your own stylist knows your hair, though you’ll need to travel and fit around the morning. In either case, wear a button-up top so you don’t pull anything over the finished style.
Coordinating with the bride’s mother
You don’t need to match, but similar levels of formality look better in the photos. If she’s wearing a sculpted updo and you’re in loose curls, both looks are fine; just make sure neither of you is in a casual style beside the other’s black-tie one. A quick message about the general direction is usually enough.
Looking Dressed Up and Still Like Yourself
The right style for a groom’s mother is the one she forgets about once the ceremony starts. A low chignon or French twist feels most formal, while soft curls, shoulder-length waves and half-up hair are softer. Short bobs and pixie cuts look just as polished with good shine and one accessory. Book a trial, bring photos and the neckline of your outfit, and think about the weather. Then wear it for the afternoon to see how it feels.
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