The mother of the groom is photographed far more than she expects: in the processional, in the family portraits, at the head table and on the dance floor long after the bride has taken her pins out. So I plan her hair around stamina first and style second. Short, medium or long, the right choice is the one that still looks deliberate at ten at night without a mirror check every hour. Below are 20 mother of the groom hairstyles I’d happily put in front of a client, with notes on how each one behaves on the day and who it suits.
Adapting an Updo to Grey, Fine or Thinning Hair
Most of the mothers of the groom I style are working with hair that has changed over the years: finer strands, a wider part, grey that behaves differently from the color it replaced. None of that rules out an updo. It changes how I build one.
Fine or thinning hair
I add grip before I add shape. Texture spray or dry shampoo at the roots gives pins something to hold, and a small padding donut or a few backcombed sections build bulk under a bun so it doesn’t look sparse from the side. Avoid anything pulled tight at the temples, since a camera flash shows the scalp through stretched hair.
Grey and silver hair
Grey strands are often coarser and more wiry than pigmented ones. They hold a curl well but frizz easily, so I use a smoothing cream before any heat. If yours has a yellow cast, use a purple shampoo a few days before the wedding rather than on the morning, when it can leave a faint lilac tint. Very glossy finishes can make silver hair look flat white in photos; a satin finish reads softer.
Recent cuts and color
Book any trim or color at least two weeks ahead. Edges need time to settle, and fresh color loses its slightly flat just-done look after a few washes.
1. Low Chignon for Mother of the Groom
A low chignon is the style I reach for most often with mothers of the groom, mainly because it sits under a hat or fascinator without a fight. I gather the hair at the nape, twist it and pin it into a compact shape. On fine hair I build it over a small padding donut so the bun doesn’t look sparse from the side. It holds all day with very little spray. If a scraped-back finish feels severe on you, I leave out two front pieces and curl them away from the face so they stay out of your eyes during the vows.
2. Soft Loose Waves for Mother of the Groom
Loose waves are the hardest style here to keep, and I say so at the trial. I set relaxed bends with a large barrel, let each section cool pinned in a curl, then brush them out so they read as movement rather than curls. The weak point is humidity. Fine or freshly washed hair can drop flat by the reception, so I’d wash the night before, skip conditioner at the roots and let me add texture spray before any heat. Shine serum goes on the ends only, never near the scalp.
3. Classic French Twist for Mother of the Groom
The French twist is one of the few updos I’d call properly formal. Hair is swept to one side, rolled vertically up the back of the head and closed along a clean seam with hidden pins. It keeps the neck cool in summer and gives an embellished neckline room to show. You need hair that reaches at least the shoulders; any shorter and the roll won’t close without a hairpiece. On a slim face I loosen the top of the seam slightly and pull a few strands free at the temple so it doesn’t look strict.
4. Half-Up Half-Down for Mother of the Groom
Half-up, half-down suits a mother who wants her hair down for dancing but out of her face for the ceremony. I secure the top section at the crown with crossed pins rather than an elastic, then set the lengths in loose waves. The crown lift is what collapses first, so I backcomb that section lightly at the root before pinning, and a decorative clip covers the join. I’d steer you away from it if your hair is very fine and well past the shoulders. The weight of the down section pulls the top flat within a few hours.
5. Sleek Blowout for Mother of the Groom
Plenty of mothers I style simply want to look like themselves, polished. A sleek blowout does exactly that. I dry the hair section by section over a round brush with the nozzle pointing down the shaft, so the cuticle lies flat, the roots get lift and the ends turn under. It’s at its best on short and medium hair and is the easiest style on this list to wear for twelve hours. The one thing I watch is the forecast: a blowout is only as good as the air it meets, so on a humid day I add an anti-humidity spray and tuck one side behind the ear.
6. Soft Messy Bun for Mother of the Groom
A soft messy bun looks casual, yet I pin it more carefully than any of the sleek styles. The hair is curled first, then pinned loosely at the back of the head with gently tousled texture, and I pull small pieces free with my fingers rather than a comb so it doesn’t look teased. A curled fringe or face-framing strands soften the forehead and jaw. It belongs at garden and outdoor weddings; beside a structured outfit at a black-tie dinner it can look underdressed. On thinning hair the loose pinning adds fullness at the crown, which helps a lot once hair has thinned there.
7. Braided Updo for Mother of the Groom
Braids add detail that still reads in the photos taken from the back of the church. I usually plait two sections from the temples, wrap them toward the crown or the nape and pin the ends into a low bun, so the braids frame the face while the bun carries the weight. Medium-length hair is ideal. Gently pulling the edges of each braid loop outward, which stylists call pancaking, makes thin hair look twice as full. A braided base is also the most secure foundation for an updo, so if you intend to dance hard this one won’t budge.
8. Soft-Knotted Bun for Mother of the Groom
Instead of winding the ponytail round and round, I tie it into a loose knot and fan the ends out, which gives a sculptural shape with less bulk than a classic bun. Silky, freshly washed hair is the enemy here: the knot slides loose, so I add dry texture spray first. It needs medium to long hair. Leave a few wisps at the hairline. At the trial I always have the client sit back in a chair for a minute, because a knot sits flatter against a seat back than a round bun does, and that matters over a three-hour dinner.
9. Curled Bob for Mother of the Groom
A bob with soft curls is one of my favorite ways to dress up short hair. I curl with a one-inch iron in alternating directions, then brush through so the curls turn into bounce rather than ringlets. Sweep it to one side with a jeweled pin above the ear for an evening wedding, or keep it centered for daytime. Curls drop faster on a bob than on long hair, simply because there’s less length to hold the shape, so I finish with a flexible spray and send the client off with a small brush to revive it before the speeches.
10. Vintage Finger Waves for Mother of the Groom
Finger waves are a skilled wet set, not a quick curl, so ask your stylist directly whether she does them. The S-shaped ridges are formed in damp hair with a strong setting gel, held with clips and left to dry completely, ideally under a hood dryer. They suit short to chin-length hair best. Done well, they read as old Hollywood rather than costume, especially with a plain gown and statement earrings. Done in a rush, the ridges blur, so build extra chair time into the morning.
11. Low Bun With Side Part for Mother of the Groom
A deep side part does a lot of quiet work. It adds lift on the heavy side, softens a long face and hides a thinning part line, which is why I suggest it to many mothers whose hair has changed with age. I smooth everything back into a low bun at the nape, sleek for a formal venue or slightly textured for a garden. It sits neatly above a high neckline and leaves room for drop earrings. At the trial I check which side looks fuller in phone photos and put the part there.
12. Pixie Cut Styling for Mother of the Groom
Short hair photographs crisply. A pixie cut styled with a little texture and lift at the crown looks confident and modern, and there’s nothing to come undone on the dance floor. I work a pea-sized amount of matte pomade through dry hair, then define a few pieces with my fingertips. The mistake I see most often is a fresh cut the week before; give a pixie two weeks to settle so the layers sit naturally. A jeweled clip swept above one ear is the simplest way to make it feel dressed for the occasion.
13. Side-Swept Curls for Mother of the Groom
Side-swept curls are draped over one shoulder, but the real work happens on the other side, where a row of crossed pins sits hidden behind the ear. That anchor is the step people skip at home, and it’s why the curls slide back by dessert. The style suits medium to long hair and leaves one ear completely clear, so decide which earring deserves the attention. I’d avoid it with a one-shoulder dress on the same side, because the hair and the strap fight each other all night.
14. Sleek Straight Hair for Mother of the Groom
Sleek, straight hair is the most honest style on this list: every kink shows. I flat iron in thin sections at a moderate heat over a heat protectant, then finish with a light shine spray rather than oil so the hair doesn’t go limp. It works at any length and sits well with structured gowns and bold jewelry. A deep part, or one side tucked behind the ear, keeps it from looking flat in photos. Skip it if your hair is naturally very curly and the day is humid; it starts reverting within hours.
15. Twisted Updo for Mother of the Groom
Twists give an updo texture without the time a braid takes. I twist sections from the hairline back and pin each one into a loose shape at the back of the head, overlapping them so every pin hides under the next twist. It’s secure on medium and long hair and very forgiving when grey strands are mixed through darker ones, because the texture breaks up the color difference. Leave a few face-framing pieces out, and tuck small pearl pins into the twists if you like a little shine.
16. Voluminous Curls for Mother of the Groom
When the hair is fine, I set big curls on hot rollers rather than with an iron, because rollers build lift at the root that lasts. I brush them out gently into volume rather than ringlets and fix with a light hairspray. On medium to long hair that fullness reads well in photos taken from across the room. The trade-off is scale: this much hair can swamp a petite frame, so I keep the fullest part at jaw level. Set properly, voluminous curls hold their shape through the whole evening.
17. Elegant Updo With Hair Accessory for Mother of the Groom
A good accessory turns a plain bun into an occasion look. I place a jeweled comb or a short row of pins just behind the ear line, where it shows both in profile and in front-facing photos. Combs grip best in a bun or twisted updo; on sleek hair they slide unless I lock them with a bobby pin crossed through the teeth. Match the metal to your jewelry rather than your dress. And if you’re also wearing a hat or fascinator, leave the accessory at home. Two pieces on one head looks crowded.
18. Soft Curled Lob for Mother of the Groom
The lob sits around the collarbone, a length I find very easy to manage on a busy day. Soft curls set with a medium iron and brushed out give movement while it stays light. Part it in the center for symmetry or to the side for more volume. My one caution: blunt ends at that length can flick outward where they meet a shoulder-skimming neckline, so I curl the ends away from the face and finish with a drop of serum.
19. Crown Braid for Mother of the Groom
A crown braid wraps around the head like a halo. I braid from behind one ear across the top and pin the tail under the starting point so the join disappears. It keeps hair off your face in the wind and stays cool in warm weather, which is why I suggest it for garden and outdoor weddings. Leave the rest down in waves or gather it into a low bun. It needs medium to long hair; on shorter hair I use a clip-in braid matched to the client’s color, and from a few feet away nobody can tell.
20. Polished Ponytail for Mother of the Groom
A low ponytail styled with intention looks as smart as any updo. I gather the hair at the nape or at mid-height, smooth it with a boar bristle brush, then wrap a small section around the base to hide the elastic and pin it underneath. It suits medium to long hair, shows off the neckline and statement earrings, and is comfortable through dinner and dancing. Soft waves in the length stop it from looking like a gym pony. Keep it low if you’ll be leaning back in a chair for hours.
Where the Groom’s Mother Fits on the Wedding Morning
The bride’s hair schedule is usually planned to the minute, and the groom’s mother is easy to forget in it, especially if she is getting ready at a different hotel. Ask the couple early if you’re on the bridal team’s timeline or should book your own stylist. I like to finish the mothers around an hour before the photographer wants family portraits, which leaves time for makeup touch-ups and getting dressed without rushing.
- Arrive with clean, completely dry hair unless your stylist asks otherwise. Washing the night before gives most updos better grip.
- Wear a button-front top so you can change without pulling anything over your head.
- Allow about 45 minutes to an hour in the chair for an updo, less for a blowout.
- Carry a few bobby pins, a small travel hairspray and a comb in your bag for the evening.
If a Hat or Fascinator Is Part of the Outfit
Tell your stylist at booking, not on the morning. A hat band crushes big curls and crown braids within minutes, while a low chignon or low bun gives a hat pin or fascinator comb something solid to anchor into. Bring the headpiece to the trial so we can place it together. I set it slightly off center and tilted forward, then build the hair around it rather than balancing it on top at the end.
Test the Style With Your Outfit Before You Commit
Start with the outfit, because its neckline and any hat or fascinator decide half of this list for you. Bring both to a trial two to three months out and photograph the result from the front, side and back in daylight. Then wear the style for the rest of that day: sit, hug people, step outside into the wind. Your hair should look like you at your most polished, and it should still be in place when you dance with your son.
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