Mother of the groom hair has a different job from the bride’s. You’ll be hugged by relatives you haven’t seen in years, photographed beside your son for the formal portraits, and probably still on your feet when the last song plays. When I style a groom’s mother, I’m less interested in drama than in a shape that suits her face and neckline and is still in place at eleven at night. The twenty styles below range from pinned chignons to short, polished cuts, and for each one I’ve noted what it asks of your hair and where it tends to struggle.
Hats, Glasses and Hearing Aids Change the Plan
A groom’s mother is more likely than the bride to be wearing something on or near her head, and I want to know about it before I pick up a single pin. A hat or fascinator decides where the volume can go. If it sits on a headband or comb, the hair under it needs to be smooth and firm enough to grip, and a big bun at the crown will push the hat forward. A low chignon or low bun almost always works with a hat.
Glasses matter too. Arms that sit over curls flatten them by lunchtime, so for glasses wearers I keep the hair behind the ears smooth and tuck it under the arms rather than over them. Bring your glasses to the trial and put them on before I finish. Hearing aids are similar: I leave a little soft hair over the ear and avoid pinning tight across the casing, which can cause whistling and discomfort.
- Bring the hat, fascinator or comb to the trial, not just a photo of it.
- Wear or bring the top you’ll wear, or something with the same neckline.
- Say if you need to take the hat off for the reception, so the hair underneath still looks dressed.
- Mention any sensitive spots on the scalp so I avoid heavy pins there.
1. Mother Of The Groom Low Chignon
I reach for a low chignon more than any other style for this role, because there’s no bad angle on it. Sitting at the nape, it leaves room for a hat or fascinator and stays out of the way of a high-backed chair at dinner. It suits lace dresses, bateau necklines and off-the-shoulder gowns, and it gives statement earrings a clear stage. The mistake I see is sides scraped too tight, which ages the face; I leave a little ease above the ears and lift the crown slightly so the profile doesn’t go flat.
2. Mother Of The Groom Half Up Curls
Half up curls let you keep your length on show while the top section is lifted and pinned, either with a twist or a small clip. On medium and long hair I curl with a larger barrel than most people expect, then brush the curls out, because tight ringlets on a mature face can look like prom hair. Watch your sleeves: soft, floaty sleeves sit well under the loose lengths, but beaded shoulders can snag the curls all evening. A light-hold spray keeps the hair touchable when people go in for a hug.
3. Mother Of The Groom French Twist
A French twist earns its place at formal and black-tie weddings. The vertical roll lengthens the neck and pairs naturally with high necklines, structured gowns and pearls. I soften the modern version by leaving texture through the crown rather than lacquering it smooth, because a glassy twist can look severe in daylight. Fine hair struggles to hold the roll on its own; I back-comb the base section and sometimes tuck a small padding piece inside, then lock the seam with crossed pins so the weight doesn’t slide down by the speeches.
4. Mother Of The Groom Soft Updo
Think of a soft updo as the halfway house: pinned curls and loose twists with a few pieces left around the cheeks and jaw. Because I can move the part, the volume and those face-framing pieces, I can adjust it for almost any face shape at the trial. It reads well in side profile, which is how most guests will see you during the ceremony. If your gown has a detailed neckline or sparkle at the shoulder, an updo like this keeps all of it visible.
5. Mother Of The Groom Short Bob Waves
On a bob, waves need to be a bend, not a curl. I use a flat iron or a medium tong and let each section cool before touching it, then brush through so the ends stay smooth and modern. A side part gives lift on chin- to jaw-length cuts, and the shape sits neatly with tailored dresses, satin jackets and simple jewelry. Grey and silver hair shows the movement especially well because light picks out every ridge. Finish with a shine spray, sprayed from arm’s length so it doesn’t weigh the bob down.
6. Mother Of The Groom Sleek Blowout
A sleek blowout is the least change from your everyday hair, which is exactly why some mothers want it. Root lift and a round-brush bend at the ends give it bounce on shoulder-length cuts, long layers and lobs. Humidity is the risk. I seal the cuticle with a cool shot and an anti-frizz cream, and I’d only suggest this down style for an outdoor wedding if your hair usually behaves better loose than pinned. It sits well with clean-lined gowns and modern suits.
7. Mother Of The Groom Curly Updo
With a curly updo I work with the curl pattern, not against it. I shape the curls into a pinned form at the low or mid back of the head and leave a few defined ones near the face. It suits naturally curly, coily and textured hair at most lengths. The prep matters more than the pinning: hair needs to be hydrated in the days before, because dry curls frizz under flash and lose their definition by evening. I set curls with a gel or cream rather than heavy spray so they keep their spring.
8. Mother Of The Groom Side Swept Waves
Side swept waves are glamour without going all the way. I set a deep side part, wave the lengths and bring them over one shoulder, then pin the back hidden underneath so the whole mass doesn’t slide forward during the evening. They work best on medium and long hair with one-shoulder gowns, V-necks and wrap dresses. One caution: if you’ll hold a bouquet or a grandchild on the swept side, the hair gets crushed, so we pick the side at the trial.
9. Mother Of The Groom Low Bun
Of all the shapes here, a low bun is the easiest to personalize: sleek, braided, twisted or slightly undone, depending on the wedding. For the mother of the groom, I keep it neat without pulling it hard, add a little height at the crown and set the bun close to the nape for a clean profile. It’s my go-to for warm weather and long ceremonies, and it shows off a dress with a detailed back. One small jeweled pin is plenty.
10. Mother Of The Groom Shoulder Length Curls
Shoulder length is the easiest length to curl for a wedding: there’s enough hair to make a shape, but not so much that the curls drop under their own weight. I start the curl around the cheekbones rather than at the root, which keeps volume where it flatters and stops the head looking wide. A side part adds lift, and a few face-framing pieces brighten the eyes. The style pairs with tea-length dresses, chiffon and pantsuits, day or evening. Use a flexible spray; anything crunchy shows in close-up photos.
11. Mother Of The Groom Braided Updo
A braided updo brings texture and suits garden, rustic and outdoor weddings where a strict style would feel out of place. The braid can run along one side, wrap a bun or weave through the crown. I pancake the braid, gently pulling the loops wider, so it looks soft and full; a tight braid on a mature face looks more schoolgirl than wedding. Medium to long hair works best, and a few clip-in pieces can fill out thin lengths. Pearl pins or a small comb finish it without tipping into bridal.
12. Mother Of The Groom Pixie Cut
A pixie doesn’t need to be turned into something else. I focus on shape and shine: lift at the crown with a little paste, smooth sides, and the fringe or longer front pieces defined so they frame the eyes. Book a trim about a week before the wedding, not the day before, so the edges have softened. Bold earrings and structured gowns look sharp with it, and it’s the lightest, coolest option for a long summer day. If you find a sleek finish too flat, ask for a little texture instead.
13. Mother Of The Groom Hollywood Waves
Hollywood waves are brushed into one continuous S-shape with a lot of shine, and they only really work on medium to long hair with healthy ends. Split or uneven ends break the line of the wave. They pair well with satin, beading and evening ceremonies. For a groom’s mother, I keep the wave a little looser than the full red-carpet version so it doesn’t compete with the bride, and a side part with a smooth finish is all the drama it needs. The polished surface reflects light, which is why it reads so well in portraits.
14. Mother Of The Groom Messy Bun
A messy bun at a wedding has to be planned mess. I pin a secure base first, then pull out texture on purpose, set low or a touch off-center, with a few controlled pieces around the face. Wavy and layered hair suits it best, because the natural movement does half the work. It belongs at relaxed, beach and garden weddings; at a formal hotel ceremony it can look under-dressed. Ask for the sides to be pinned firmly so it stays comfortable, and add one small decorative pin to make it look finished.
15. Mother Of The Groom Medium Length Updo
Hair that isn’t quite long enough for a big bun can still be pinned up. With a medium length updo I tuck sections and twist them into a compact low bun that looks fuller than the hair really is. On shoulder-length hair it holds better than loose curls in humid weather and keeps a lace collar, cap sleeve or detailed back on view. Fine hair needs some back-combing and texture spray at the base before I pin, otherwise the pins have nothing to grip and slide out by the reception.
16. Mother Of The Groom Long Hair Down
Long hair worn down looks polished for this role only when it’s clearly been styled. Limp lengths and casual waves read as unfinished next to a dressed-up family. I give soft root volume, smooth the front around the face and blend waves through the length. If you wear your hair down every day and feel like yourself that way, this is the one to choose. Long loose hair is the first to frizz outdoors, so I use an anti-frizz product and often pin one side back, which also keeps it off your face during hugs.
17. Mother Of The Groom Low Ponytail
A low ponytail looks modern and clean, and it’s surprisingly dressy when the elastic is wrapped with a section of hair and the lengths are smoothed or softly waved. Mothers who want hair off the face but don’t like a bun tend to love it. I always add lift at the crown first, because a ponytail on a flat crown makes the head look small in photos. It suits high-neck dresses, sleek gowns and contemporary venues, and a pearl clip at the tie dresses it up for evening.
18. Mother Of The Groom Thin Hair Updo
Thin hair looks fuller when the style builds softness rather than pulling tight. I use volumizing mousse at the root, light back-combing and texture spray before any pins go in, and I keep heavy creams and serums away because they flatten fine strands. A low textured bun, a soft twist or a tucked updo all read thicker in photos than a sleek style. Face-framing pieces help create fullness at the front. Where the scalp shows at the part, I zigzag the parting so the gap is broken up; a tinted root powder that matches your color also helps.
19. Mother Of The Groom Natural Hair Updo
A natural hair updo keeps your texture front and center. Coils, curls, twists or stretched hair can be shaped into a low bun, a crown updo, a puff or a pinned style with soft height. Moisture is everything here; I ask clients to deep condition a few days before and stretch the hair if the style needs it, so I’m not working through tangles on the morning. Jewel-tone dresses and statement earrings look rich next to it, and gold pins, pearls or a small comb add a festive touch. Edges should be smoothed gently, not glued down hard.
20. Mother Of The Groom Side Bun
A side bun sits low near one side of the nape, so it shows from the front in photos, which a centered low bun doesn’t. It pairs naturally with a side part and a few loose face-framing pieces, and it suits asymmetrical dresses and soft necklines. Wear it smooth for a formal look or lightly textured for something relaxed. Before I pin, I check which ear your statement earring is on; a bun and a big earring on the same side crowd each other, so I usually put them on opposite sides.
Where You Get Ready Matters as Much as the Style
The bride’s suite usually has the hair team, the schedule and the photographer. The groom’s mother is often getting ready somewhere else entirely, sometimes at the groom’s hotel, sometimes at home. That changes things. If you’re booked with the bride’s stylist, ask exactly what time your slot is and where. Mothers are often done early, which means your hair has to last several extra hours.
When I’m doing the mother early, I choose a style with more structure than she might pick for an evening out, because curls loosen and pinned hair relaxes over hours. Sit in the car with your head away from the headrest if you can, and keep a scarf loosely over an updo if you’re stepping out into wind.
A small bag for the reception
I don’t send anyone off with a full kit. Four or five bobby pins in your hair color, a travel-size flexible spray, a small comb and a couple of blotting papers will handle almost anything. If a curl drops or a pin slips during the dancing, someone at your table can push it back in for you in a minute.
When Grey, Silver or Newly Colored Hair Needs Extra Care
Grey and silver hair can pick up a yellow cast from hard water, heat styling and some products, and that shows in white-balanced photography. A purple or toning shampoo used once or twice in the week before the wedding brightens it; more often than that can leave a lilac tinge. If you’re coloring, have it done about two weeks before so the tone has settled and any patchy areas can be fixed. Grey hair is often coarser and can be resistant to curling, so I allow extra heat setting time and a bit more product than I’d use on younger hair.
Your Son Is Getting Married, So Let Your Hair Be Easy
Start with what your hair already does well and what your dress needs, then pick from there. You don’t need a complicated style to look polished. A soft chignon, a polished bob, a low ponytail, a natural updo or brushed waves all work when the shape, hold and finish are right. Factor in your length, texture, neckline, venue and the weather, bring a few photos of looks you like, and book a trial if you can. Then you can stop thinking about your hair and enjoy watching your son get married.
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